What's Scarier Than Cancer?

Yes, there is no doubt receiving Liam's cancer diagnosis was the worst day of my life, but I was never scared for his life. I never entertained the possibility the cancer could take his life, even to the point I may never forgive the person who brought a "what to do when you lose a child" pamphlet.

So what could have possibly happened that would scare me more than cancer?

Earlier this week Aubrey had an episode. She was choking on her spit up. She had just woken up from a nap, I took her into her room to change her diaper when she started spitting up. I rolled her on her side so it'd come out but she still started choking on it. As I sat her up and began patting her back, her body was so stiff and she wasn't breathing. In my head I was thing "oh my God, call 911, no you can't call 911 you can't put her down, get her to breath, what if I can't get her to start breathing...." I could keep going on with my thoughts, but you get the idea. I can't really say how long this went on for because it obviously seemed like a lot longer to me, but after moving her into every possible position I could think of to help push the spit up out she did start coughing and breathing.

This was the scariest moment of my life. I really wasn't sure if I was going to get her breathing.

Everything checks out fine, the doctor thinks it was an isolated incident because she was on her back when it happened, but if it happens again (or ever to a child under 3 months) she needs to go right to the ER to be checked out, even if she appears to be normal afterward.

So although she has started sleeping better at night, I'm not sure when I will. I am not waking up frequently to make sure she is still breathing.

I think my new motto is "If she is screaming, she is breathing"

 

Your turn. What has been your scariest moment in parenting?