Are you worried?

More often than I can say I have been asked if I am worried Aubrey would get sick. Is it possible for her to have cancer too? Although Liam did not have to gene for his cancer, I guess I was worried, but the worry started before Aubrey.

When Liam was going through treatment I didn't think we'd have another child, I just couldn't go through that again. I also didn't want to replace the experiences Brian and I missed with Liam.

Then when we decided to have another child, it was taking us a while to get pregnant. My doctor had wanted to see me back in December to discuss options, but we found out about the pregnancy in November, Thanksgiving Day. Even though it never made it to that point, I had already decided in my mind we were not going to have any medical intervention to get pregnant. In my heart I felt if I wasn't able to conceive another child it was God's way of protecting me- it just wasn't meant to be. Thankfully we were pleased with Aubrey.

I always knew if we were to have another child I would take a year maternity leave. It was very difficult to go back to work after Liam was born, even more difficult after staying home with him through treatment. As cliche as it sounds; I have seen how precious life really is. I knew I wanted to stay home with Aubrey during this early time and cherish every moment.

I don't think I will ever be the calm parent when it comes to my children's health.

 

I know the pictures are scary.  They are a reality of a time in my life that has changed everything.

What's Scarier Than Cancer?

Yes, there is no doubt receiving Liam's cancer diagnosis was the worst day of my life, but I was never scared for his life. I never entertained the possibility the cancer could take his life, even to the point I may never forgive the person who brought a "what to do when you lose a child" pamphlet.

So what could have possibly happened that would scare me more than cancer?

Earlier this week Aubrey had an episode. She was choking on her spit up. She had just woken up from a nap, I took her into her room to change her diaper when she started spitting up. I rolled her on her side so it'd come out but she still started choking on it. As I sat her up and began patting her back, her body was so stiff and she wasn't breathing. In my head I was thing "oh my God, call 911, no you can't call 911 you can't put her down, get her to breath, what if I can't get her to start breathing...." I could keep going on with my thoughts, but you get the idea. I can't really say how long this went on for because it obviously seemed like a lot longer to me, but after moving her into every possible position I could think of to help push the spit up out she did start coughing and breathing.

This was the scariest moment of my life. I really wasn't sure if I was going to get her breathing.

Everything checks out fine, the doctor thinks it was an isolated incident because she was on her back when it happened, but if it happens again (or ever to a child under 3 months) she needs to go right to the ER to be checked out, even if she appears to be normal afterward.

So although she has started sleeping better at night, I'm not sure when I will. I am not waking up frequently to make sure she is still breathing.

I think my new motto is "If she is screaming, she is breathing"

 

Your turn. What has been your scariest moment in parenting?

Happy Fall Ya'll

Yup.  I told you I was excited about the fall.

How about all the Holidays coming up.  I really debated the other day when I was in Carters if I was going to get Aubrey a costume this year (they were half off!) or if I would just dress her in festive clothes.  No Costume yet.

Here are some of the designs I have been working on for the upcoming Holidays.

My 1st Halloween Onesie

Zombie Boy Applique

 

Can be added to long sleeve or short sleeve shirt or onesie

My personal favorite!

 

 

Which do you like best?  Email me to place your orders.

Calling all Lefties

The part I hated most about teaching kindergarten wasn't crying children on the first day (or first 30 days) it was always realizing I had a leftie (or 3!)
I never felt I could help them learn to write or use scissors.

Today I am failing my child. Please someone help me show my child how to hold a pencil!




I'm trying to help him, it just doesn't look right.

Hand dominance usually develops between 2-3 years. I am not positive Liam's is set yet. He still continues to switch back and forth between hands and although I do not force him to use a particular hand, I do encourage him to choose the hand he wants to use and stick to it.

Unfortunately (for me) its usually the left hand. So I am pleading with all you lefties out there HELP!

Five on Friday {v.2}

 

Here are the 5 things I am lovin' this week.  I can tell you one of them is NOT my phone since I have wrote this post 3 times and it just won't save on my phone.

Number 1 PRESCHOOL
Liam started preschool on Tuesday.  He is going 3 days a week, 9-1.  So far he is having a great time.  I was a little nervous dropping him off on Tuesday because on the drive there he was asking if we were staying and not happy when I told him he would be staying with his teacher. 

But after drop off it was PARTY ON!

Not really.  I wish I could say I got more stuff done, but the little miss is quite demanding an              1 o'clock comes up fast!

Day 1 went well.  He came home talking about his new find Gabriella...of course when I signed him in the next day I found out there is not Gabriella in his class...

Day 2 he got right in the car and said what a good listener he was. Score 1 Liam!

Day 3 he lost his sticker for not listening... I hope he figures things out fast!





Number 2 SUPERHEROES

This week I revealed our special SuperHero shirts to support the real Heroes, children fighting for their lives.  When I began sewing it was to help pay for Liam's medical bills.  I always knew when he finished chemo I wanted to donate some of my profits to help other families.  This month, during childhood cancer awareness month, I am selling personalized superhero shirts.  Get yours today!

Number 3 PINTEREST
Our oven broke and its crockpot meals for us until we get it fixed.  Thank you Pinterest!
On Wednesday I turned the oven on to heat it for dinner, went to feed Aubrey, came back to put dinner in the oven only to notice orange flashed sparking inside the oven.  I shut it off and after it cooled down I opened it up to notice the bottom heating element had broken in  part, don't know how that happened.

Glad my house didn't explode, Happy to be alive!

Number 4 WORKOUTS
I am still having a hard time getting runs in.  By the time Brian gets home, Aubrey is done for the day; screaming.  I just feel bad leaving Brian with her, although I deal with it all day when she isn't happy, so I should just go get my time out and run in.
Anyway I do find it easy to get in a quick workout via Pinterest.

Hopefully we will get a treadmill soon so I can run during the day.

 

Number 5 FALL DECOR
Is it too redundant to be excited about Fall 2 weeks in a row?  No? Good!  I think Fall will make my list for at least the next month!  Of course Pinterest will once again come in handy for helping me decorate the house. 

First Day of Preschool

Liam had his first day of preschool yesterday.

At first I struggled with if we were going to put him in preschool or not.  I was going to be home so there is no need to pay someone to watch him.  As nice as it'll be to get to know Aubrey without a  3 year old climbing on me, I didn't want him out of the house. 

Ultimately we decided he needed the structure.  He needed the socialization.  So I called around, spoke with a few programs and found one that'll fit.  Liam is going 3 morning a week.  He even made a new friend today, he kept talking about Gabriella.

I leave you with our interview we did tonight.  This kid is going places...

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

 

                 

September is here.  It happens to be Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  Isabella Santos mom said it quite correctly, awareness is a bullshit word.  I am sure I will see a lot of ecard sharing happening around Facebook

But really, how will that help the heroes who are fighting cancer?  How does an ecard improve their "quality of life".  Will spreading awareness help their families cope with their reality?  What about the treatments available to children?  How can we change "awareness" to "ACTION"

This month, in addition to Liam's story, I have a few other families' stories to share with you.  I always felt it was my job to keep Liam in others thoughts and prayers, I'd like to continue that with others.  

We were able to survive through treatment because of the generosity of others, multiple donations and fundraisers.  It has been my vision, through LCF Threadz,  to donate back to others.  This month I will be selling Super Hero Shirts, donating profits to a family fighting cancer.

$25 Short Sleeve $30 Long Sleeve

 

Email me for your Super Hero Shirt.  These shirts will be made personalized for your child.  Every letter is available in colors of your choice.