Where is the Passion When You Need it the Most

As part of the blog ever day in May series, the topic for May 20: Get Real. Share something you have been struggling with. It has taken me this long to finish writing about this.

This is something I touched on at the beginning of the year, my New Years "resolution" was to find purpose.

I struggle with Sundays.

Depression usually sets in shortly after waking up Sunday morning if not Saturday night. And really it's not just a normal end of the weekend blues. I end up in absolute tears over having to go back to work the next day.

And it's not just pregnancy hormones either, this pattern was established well before the fetus.

I love teaching. I have an amazing group of students. They work hard, they are motivated to learn, well behaved. As a whole, my students this year the ideal boys and girls every teacher hopes for each year.

So often I hear from others that teachers have it made with summers off, finished with work before 5 o'clock...
I do not find teaching to be a family friendly profession. Students may go home before 5, and yes I do too, but only because I don't want to leave Liam at the sitter's that long. We get home, after feeding Liam I find something to entertain Liam while I continue to work.

And I cannot tell you how many times you will find me at work at 5am.

And I'm not the only one feeling this way. Teaching in a district with nearly 200 schools, the system has assigned a task force to investigate staff moral.

Teachers being under appreciated and bullied is not limited to public perception, it begins directly with administration.

I love teaching, I love watching the growth if students throughout the year. But I am ready for a break. With a lot if anxiety I have decided to take a year of maternity leave after the baby comes.

I hope to see you here more with many updates on Liam and Baby Fudge each week!
Wish me luck!



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What do you do?

I came across this challenge online this weekend; blog everyday in May.  I obviously am slightly late to the party, and not exactly planning on following along, but it had some fun topics.  Today's topic: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

Well this week just happens to be teacher appreciation week, and one of my co-workers posted this on facebook this morning.  Yes, it does mention being a teacher, but also everything else that is required with the job description.

MIA

Once again we have gone MIA.  This may effect my ability to reach my August goal of 15 posts.

I went back to work this week.  Liam went back to the sitter full time.  It has been an adjustment for all.

Being a public employee I have never said much about my work on here.  I am a teacher.
Returning back to work in the fall has always been a struggle, this year is no different. 

When I had Liam, he was well planned!  I took 12 weeks of maternity leave that was followed by summer vacaction.  This gave me 6 months at home with him! Not enough in my opinion.

I really struggled when I returned to work.  I was teaching a class with some behavior problems, constiently concerned with other student's safety.  I was only at school that year for 3 months when Liam got sick and I took a leave of absence.  I felt guilty leaving my teammates with this class to divide, but I also didn't have the time or energy to think much about it.

Returning to work the next year was even more difficult, staying home with Liam for 9 months that time and all the pain that came with caring for a child with cancer.  I was {AM} so blessed to have my child {healthy now} I didn't want to limit my time with him. 

But we need insurance so I returned to work.  I had the BEST class last year!  So thankful for that, but it didn't make the transition back to work any easier.

This year returning to work is more difficult because of some events that happened over the summer effecting my position.  But I have worked really hard to improve my attitude regarding the situation.  What happened was not the fault of any student, and I will return to work and give them the education they deserve.

All that being said I AM EXHAUSTED!

I have came home each night and spent time with my family, sewing more lanyards, dresses and baby blankets.  Then I try to go to bed at a reasonable hour.