Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
I cry for Liam's lost childhood.
I cry for the pain he feels.
I cry because I cannot comfort him.
I cry because I cannot fix this.
I cry because I don't have the answers to why a child should ever have to have this fight.
I cry for the unlikelihood that this has happened to my baby.
I cry at the word cancer.
I cry because our lives will never be normal again.
I cry because Brian and I have miss out on some of the happy experiences of the first child.
I cry for the generousity of others. They pray, they donate... their lives go on.
I had to call gymboree today to see how long I could suspend Liam's membership for. Pure Wonderment. The gym was so understanding of the situation. They have offered us the gym to use while they are closed so that Liam can get out of the house and play. They understand that this will mean that extra cleaning would have to be done on their part, but would love to do that for Liam.
Friday, December 17, 2010
But only in pediatrics is a trip to the doctors or hospital like checking into a nice hotel. They show you to your room, ask if you need anything. They bring you food, drinks and entertainment. Last night a group of ukulele players came to perform Christmas carols for the patients. Liam really enjoyed the music.
We also received some great news today. His tumor is shrinking. Last night they did an ultrasound of the tumor, and although it is difficult to compare a CT scan to an ultrasound, the measurements show it is shrinking, and even dying in the middle of the tumor.
Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers; they are certainly working.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thank you for the generous donations;The Swansons, The Banks Family, The Ward Family, N. Giaimo, T. Kim, S. Rawson, K. Warren, A. Coberly, B. Lehotzky, N. Debinder, The Baldwins, A. Helfman, A. Gibson, and K. Lefler.
Thank you so much to A. Collins and K. Pierce, who continue to spread the word on facebook.
Thank you L. Armitage, who has began setting up multiple fundraisers for Liam. She has arranged for her friend Joan who owns http://www.bitsycreations.com/ to donate a portion of her profits to Liam's fund. When placing your order through this website put LIAM in the coupon code area/notes to seller.
L. Armitage will also be conducting a fundraiser of her own after the holidays.
Below is a picture of Liam while waiting at the clinic for his blood transfusion. His Hemoglobin level dipped a little bit so the doctor wanted to help it out a little.
Thank you so much to all our friends and family for your continued support.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
First forgive me because Brian will not be happy with this topic, but I feel some perspective is needed. When I was first told to put the donate button on this blog, I felt it was a bit tacky. I have spent quite some time in the past fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and for Girls on the Run. But asking for money for my needs, or more specifically the needs of my family- no.
Refering specifically for the donated money I raised for LLS (Team in Training), money not only goes to funding cancer research but to families to help with their bills too. Assuming everyone knows cancer is expensive; What does expensive mean?
We have known of Liam's diagnosis for 2 1/2 weeks now. His bills already outweigh my yearly salary. I said some perspective was needed on topic. Perspective cannot be given at this point; I cannot even begin to imagine what the bills will add up to in his next 6+ months of treatment.
If you lend someone money, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
He has been "talking up a storm" the last few days and eating has been better in the early part of the day.
Last night, about 3 am, we got our first vomit experience. We never it was going to be a side effect of the chemo; we just didn't expect it so soon. Liam had woken up and I fed him. He had just finished the bottle when I heard a gurling noise. There was no time to react before I was covered in milk. I yelled for Brian to wake up. Liam just looked at me like "whats the big deal". He was fine and has been sleeping or playing happily ever since. But I will definatly be giving him his antinausea medicine for a few days.
Friday, December 3, 2010
What is not going well is eating. Still only taking in a few ounces of milk each day. Liam did enjoy some puffs today. He loves his finger foods. My only complaint about them is it takes a whole bowl full to get 25 calories. He obviously is not going to eat a full serving and is getting very few calories from them.
Earlier this week I took Liam to visit Santa Claus. We wanted to get this done before it was too risky to take him out of the house. Liam was less than thrilled. We managed to get a picture of him not crying. And wouldn't you know it; after the pictures had been taken and mom was reviewing them, Liam sat on Santa's lap playing with his beard (wish I had gotten a photo of that).
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Have I told you lately how much we truly appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers. I cannot count how many prayer chains Liam is on. We are getting messages from people we have never met telling us they are praying for Liam. Oh the wonders of Facebook.
We really do have the best family and friends. You have all done so much for us already. From setting up a fund to help with expenses (see button on side) to arranging meals for us during this time. The word "fundraiser" has also been tossed around. I really cannot express how much all of this is appreciated.
Liam had a rough night last night. Up every 1-2 hours. He just wanted to be held. As comfy as the glider in his room is, I don't enjoy sleeping sitting up. But he can have whatever he wants right now. He has had very little to eat since we came home yesterday, maybe 2-3 ounces. The doctor is not concerned because the chemo can suppress his appetite; we just need to make sure he stays well hydrated.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
He will go to clinic for more treatments the next 2 Wednesdays to complete this cycle. He will also need to go to clinic several times each cycle to have blood drawn. By checking his blood count the doctors will see how well he is recovering from the treatments and when he is at risk for getting sick. This will help the doctors to determine when he will be strong enough to begin the next cycle.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Today this blog will begin to serve a new purpose; keeping everyone updated as Liam battles cancer. My baby has a fight and a battle ahead of him. What he is going through is nor fair and I wish I could make it all go away. But what I do know it that he is going to be okay. I have a strong little boy!
How did we figure out Liam has cancer?
About 6 weeks ago Liam began to refuse baby food. I knew this was 'normal' behavior and I should just keep trying; he would eat when he was ready. For a few weeks I just kept trying to feed him his fruits and veggies. Then he began waking up several times at night again. OH THE HORROR! We had just began sleeping through the night; this cannot happen.
I called the doctor for advice on getting Liam to eat. The doctor wasn't concerned he hadn't been eating foods; all the nutrition Liam needed was coming from the breastmilk. But he wanted me to bring Liam in for a weight check just to make sure Liam was still gaining weight. He wasn't; he had lost 5 ounces since his 6 month appointment.
After a conversation about how much milk Liam had been getting and a routine exam, the doctor wanted me to supplement feedings with formula. The doctor suspected Liam had refused food because he was too hungry and wasn't getting enough milk.
After a week of breastmilk/formula combo I was feeling good about Liam's calorie intake; I was sure we would see a weight gain. Back at the doctor's for another weight check, the nurse put Liam on scale. He had lost more weight.
After another routine exam the doctor found the top part of Liam's abdomen to be hard. He could tell something was enlarged, but could not tell what. He wanted us to go to the hospital for an ultrasound. It being Friday evening, the doctor admitted us to the hospital incase Liam needed to see a specialist we wouldn't have to wait til Monday.
At the hospital we had an ultrasound; it showed an enlarged liver. The doctor ordered a CT scan to get a better look. The CT scan showed there was a large tumor in his liver.
After meeting with the oncologist and surgeon it was determined the tumor could not savely be removed. Liam will need chemo to shrink the tumor because it can be removed. He will have 2 cycles of chemo then another CT scan to see how the tumor has responded. If it responds well he will have 2 more cycles of chemo then surgery to remove the tumor. If the tumor does not respond as expected Liam will have to go on the transplant list.
We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers. We are very fortunate to have such wonderful friends and family.
Monday, September 27, 2010
He can get up on his hands and knees, he crawls in a circle, but gets places by rolling to them. We have been trying lots of fruits and vegetables. Liam is not a huge fan of the veggies, but we will keep trying. But most excitingly he has began sleeping through the night. Not everynight, but it has happened. The first night he did it was the best night of my life!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
When I sat him on the floor to take his 5 month picture, Brian asked why I didn't just sit him in the chair. I want to show everyone what a great job he is doing sitting up. He does so many other things to remind me he is growing. The other night during bath time, he grabed the side of the tub and pulled himself up to standing. I AM NOT READY FOR THAT! Boy needs to slow down.
He started rolling from him belly to his back at 3 months. Recently he has started rolling from his back to his belly. When he does this, he realizes he doesn't like to be on his belly and immediately begins screaming. Apparently he has forgotten how to roll himself back over. On the rare occation we can keep him happy on his belly, he has began moving. No, he is not crawling yet. But he is dangerously close. He reaches forward and pulls with his arms, he also pushes off with his legs. The only thing keeping my sanity together right now is he has not figured out how to coordinate the two yet.
Just for fun, here is a picture of tummy time at one month.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I am very fortunate to have the ability for feed my child, but there is no end to my supply. I have been freezing every last ounce that comes out in preparation for Liam to begin daycare.
Today I heard an inspiring story at Liam's playgroup. The story was about a baby who was born addicted to crack and was adopted. This baby was only meeting developmental milestones because of the donated breastmilk he was receiving. If I can produce enough to keep Liam on breastmilk while in daycare, I think I am going to look into donating the excess
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I have been working really hard to sit up by myself. Here I am sitting up for just over a minute. But of course I fell when Mommy took the picture.
Mommy has lots of different balls she pulls out for me to play with. I think they taste delicious!
Mommy gives me so many things to play with everyday! I am getting good at staying entertained while Mommy and Daddy eat now that I can sit at the table with them.
I love my exersaucer. Thank you Gamma!
It's been a hard day of play. I think I am going to take a little rest.
Monday, July 19, 2010
I tip-toed across the hall to the nursery, slowly opened the door and smelled the room. WHY did I smell it? Who knows! I should have been putting on my own oder controlling shield because Liam has a superhero sense of smell. When I walk into the room his nose sends a message to his brain "booby milk, must eat".
So after tip-toeing my way over to the crib and staring at him for an appropriate length of time, I determined he was breathing. RETREAT RETREAT I must get out without waking the beast. I backpedaled to my bed, where I lay listening to the monitor, paranoid of when he will wake up. My anxiety continued to grow with every movement I could now hear.
Affirmative... I had woke the beast!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Baby Fudge will be making his arrival in about 8 weeks. We are definately getting excited. We had another ultrasound on Friday. Baby is healthy, and looks like a baby now, not an alien.
I still tend to call him Baby Fudge, but he does have a name. We decided to name him William Alexander. William after Brian's grandfather, we will call him Liam. Alexander is after my parents.
The nursery is almost finished. All the furniture has been in and put together for a few months now. We just need the mural and we will be ready.
For now, here are some pictures...
Me at 32 weeks
Our 32 week Ultrasound photo